Subjuntivo es el Diablo...and about GOD and Vegetables...and a Jamaica Episode
So, I am currenty in level 4 of 8 available spanish classes. I'm at the place where I can understand quite a bit...but it takes me about 5 minutes to think of how I should answer a question or say something.
Well, this level is all about subjuntive which is how you express a desire/wish for another person. For example... "(Espero) que tengas un buen dia" is "I hope you have a good day." The second-person present indicative form is "tienes"...but to find the subjunctive form of a verb, you take the first-person form in present tense indicative and then depending on who you're talking to/about add "es, e, emos, en" if the infinitive form of the verb ends in "ar" and "as, a, amos, an" if the infinite form of the verb ends in "er". So for "tener"...(which is the verb I used in my example,) I take the first-person present tense indicative form, "tengo" and switch the "o" to an "as" so it's in second-person present tense subjuntive. (It was very weird to use the english names having to do with this topic.) Sounds easy enough, right... but it gets very confusing for me. (spanish speakers: Si, tienen algunas sugerencias o correcciones, denmelas por favor.)
I've been thinking about how often times when I haven't been spending the time that I should be with God, I say something like..."Make me hungry for more of You." (Please, if you've said something like this, don't be offended by what I'm about to say...I am only applying this to myself.) I realized saying that was a selfish and emotional request. Why? Because in essence, I was saying..."God, I don't feel like spending time with you right now, and I'm not going to unless I feel like I need to." It's almost like a little kid, thinking about vegetables. Few and far between are the ones who will voluntarily eat their broccoli off of their plates first, or sneak to the fridge in the middle of the night and quietly grab a handful of lettuce, or cry hysterically in the produce section, "PLEASE, PLEASE! Mom, please just let me have a tomato. JUST ONE!" No, in fact from my personal experience, I would not eat my vegetables out of my own love for them, but because my parents knew that I needed them. So I would not eat them until I was absolutely compelled by my parent to eat them. (For example, sitting at the table for an hour after dinner.) How heartbreaking that must be, when my Father/ Dearest Friend/ Rescuer and Lover of my Soul's deepest longing is to be intimately close to me, and I treat Him like a five year old would treat a plateful of spinach saying, "There's so much else I want to do. I can't eat this. Please make me like spending time with you."
Now, obviously...if that's how I feel, God doesn't hold it against me and beat me over the head...but if I don't feel a "hunger" for God, there are a few possibilities. First, chances are if I am not "hungry" for God and I haven't been spending time with Him, I need to realize what things are filling the place where spending time at God's feet should be. A starving or nutritionally lacking person won't feel like changing until they're in serious danger. I need to decide that whether or not I feel like rearranging or cutting things out of my life, I will commit to do so. Next, if I have been spending time with God I need to realize that when someone is eating regularly, they may not always feel hungry. Granted, when a person eats regularly, their metabolism will become accustomed to that and they will become hungry on a regular basis, but it generally will not be an overwhelming, all consuming pain. Not experiencing that intense pain doesn't mean I should stop eating until I feel it. It would be nice if I always had the appetite to eat like I have on Thanksgiving and Christmas, but that appetite is almost purely emotional...and if I relied on feelings instead of the nutrients, I would only be eating on holidays and when I'm depressed. (Wow, sadly that almost sounds like the average "Christian’s" spiritual life.) People who have experienced true hunger in their lives understand not only the importance, but also the privilege, it is to eat on a regular basis.
So what exactly am I saying? I'm realizing that I need to view spending time with God less like an avoided food group, and more like a RELATIONSHIP. Yes, God does want me to be honest about my feelings and bring them to Him. However, He doesn't want me to base my time with Him on them. Emotions change...constantly...but God is so much greater than my feelings. He is unchanging, faithful, loving, powerful, just, patient, passionate, merciful, all powerful...and when I regularly pursue spending time with Him because of these things, I will find that He will increasingly become the desire of my heart.
Speaking of food related topics...on our way to the weekly after school feeding program, a 5 gallon jug of jamaica juice fell onto a sharp object in the van. There is no carpet in the van...which was a huge blessing, but our feet and a lot of equipment ended up taking a red, sticky bath. Good times, good times!
posted by jessika @ 2:30 PM
Comments: 5
